Your early birthday present

99-SECOND READ

'Contentment is the only real wealth.'

Alfred Nobel

On Sunday I turned 35.

I received many thoughtful messages and gifts. But the biggest gift of all, I gave to myself - the feeling of happiness, peace and contentment.

The most lavish or thoughtful gifts and celebrations cannot make you happy. Happiness is something you must give to yourself by creating a certain mindset. 

Let me express this mindset in a few different ways to convey it clearly:

1. It's not what happens to you, it's how you respond to it. 
2. There is no fixed reality, only the reality you choose. 
3. You can't control everything in your life, you can control the meaning you subscribe to everything. 

Internalising this mindset over the last 5 years made a huge difference to my life. Reflecting on my 30s so far helps me, and may help put this message into context for you. 

30 - I quit my job to travel the world for 14 months with my partner at the time... I learned to slow down and be content with only my belongings that could fit in a backpack. I immersed myself in travel photography, reading, reflecting, and continued learning about myself, human behaviour and cultures.

31 - I returned from travelling, Covid hit - my money ran out and the job opportunities I had lined up disappeared. So, I stayed with my parents and had an amazing summer, I restored a barn with my Dad, trained as a coach, built a sales consultancy website and then took a job. 

32 - I moved back to London and then ended my five-year relationship. I worked in a job that didn't fulfil me while I continued practising the art of coaching. I took solo trips to reflect and find peace - I rode my motorbike around Scotland and travelled to Morocco.

33 - I went to Fuerteventura to meet new friends who encouraged me to follow my dreams. I quit my job, moved out of London, stayed with my parents (again) and launched my coaching business. My business took off. I lived in Greece for 2 months and then one month in Dubai to visit my sister.

34 - I moved to Bristol, rented a beautiful apartment, and then met the love of my life. I expanded my company and built a team of coaches. My partner moved in and five months later we bought a one-way ticket to Montenegro to work remotely and travel, chasing the sun through the Balkans.

35 - I'm 3 days in... I woke up this morning, went for a swim, reflected on how beautiful life is and consciously expressed gratitude for all that I have. I'm writing this sitting 4 meters from the Adriatic Sea, watching the sun bounce around the bay of Kotor.

The reality is, that it could all be gone in a moment, that is the nature of life. So, choosing to see the good in all of it and working only on what we can control is all that we can do. 

In the past 5 years, I experienced the inevitable highs and lows of life. Due to this mindset, the highs got higher and the lows impacted me less. 

It gave me an abundance of peace, confidence, reassurance and calm. It allowed me to take greater risks without feeling scared and to achieve more than I thought possible before. 

I don't know everything that will happen next, but I do know that I will do my best to be grateful for what I have, to choose to live according to my values, to see every setback as a lesson and to aim for what is possible, not what is 'realistic'. 

I will keep pursuing my purpose; to empower people (you) to live consciously so that they can live healthier, balanced and fulfilling lives. 

My diary has been getting busier and busier recently, but if you want to find this perspective, I want to help you - you can see if I have a space available here.

My diary has been getting busier and busier recently, but if you want to find this perspective, I want to help you - you can see if I have a space available here.

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